Clearly one to watch

One of the hurdles to be overcome by the people in the copied DVD business is the production of the sleeve. You know yourself that when you pick up a DVD with a vague idea of either renting it or buying it, the first thing you do is turn the box over and read what it says on the back. A good cover is therefore of paramount importance, even when the customer is only spending 80p. The standard layout of plot synopsis, plus a few one line extracts of glowing reviews (where available), can be a major stumbling block when the person producing the counterfeit cover doesn’t even know what the film is about, simply because they don’t speak English.

The solution is, as always, on the internet. The graphic designer does a search on the film title, and the results of the search go on the DVD’s sleeve. The front of the sleeve is usually just the film’s promotional poster and does not therefore cause too many problems. The back is a little trickier. For our hapless Chinese-speaking member of staff, finding some words is very difficult. Finding the right words is just about impossible. Nevertheless, he presses on undeterred, the only method available to him being a simple, but entirely random, cut and paste. As a result of this rather haphazard process, there are covers emblazoned with completely inappropriate reviews, such as “Watching this film was the most tedious 98 minutes I have ever spent”. Sometimes the reviews and plot summary on the cover belong to a completely different film altogether - “Bruce Willis takes departure role in chilling paranormal thriller about a boy stalked by dead people” on the back of Sense and Sensibility.

With this minefield then, you cannot fail to be impressed when you come across a cover that is actually relevant to the film. But then, when you realise that someone involved has not only watched the film, but actually written the review themselves….well, that takes some beating.

Here then, in all its glory, is the review for the Alfred Hitchcock classic “Rebecca”, reproduced faithfully as it appears on the back of the DVD.

‘The film is according to adapted from the novel named Lubuka that it was wrote by Dafne du Moler. A lady arrived Monte Carlo, she met very rich man named Michaeh, they loved each other, soon they got married Everyone knew that Michaeh’s first wife named Lubuka died for the ship was sank last year; Michaeh still thought of her because of her dead, newlywed got to Michaeh’s datcha in Mandli, They met the housekeeper who was Mrs Danfus, Mrs Danfus told that Labuka to all people in Mandli still contained dint of a kind of fancy control…’